"We talk on this page"...

As I was walking through the hospital yesterday on my way home from work I came across this poem in a frame on the wall. Langston Hughes' "English Theme B". Loved it but especially this line in particular.
This line reminds me of a concept that comes up over and over again in my english classes: the idea that every book you read is a dialectic between you, the author, the characters, etc. I believe this whole heartedly, in fact, this is why I read so slowly. I can't help but think over every idea, connect the lines on the page to stories or people in my own life, or stories that I have heard before.
It makes me happy to write between the lines on the pages in books. Not only because this is a mark of ownership, but also because when I read the book in the future it will become a conversation between myself, the book, and the thoughts I had when I read originally.
I get to engage with the likes of Toni Morrison, Octavia Butler, Ralph Ellison, and Gwendolyn Brooks on my own terms.
"...I feel that what people bring to my work it at least as important to them as what I put into it." -Octavia Butler

Af Am Section at Borders

So many things in our society contribute to the definition of what is black. This is my personal attack on one of them. The same way the fact that BET has black in its title pisses me off, the African American Section in Borders serves the same purpose. Right there in big letters, they make a statement about what black literature is. And it's not Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, or Toni Morrison, nope. The first thing you see are those so-called "hip hop" novels (that title is problematic as well). Not downing any one who reads these, to each his or her own, but they do not account for the majority of black literature, so why do they make up the majority of this section? I must admit that Toni Morrison had a novel or two shoved in there somewhere, but can we get equal representation? Can we stop making the statement that black culture is monolithic? I'm going to go back, look the section over one more time, then make a complaint to management, I'll let you know how that goes.

Over and over we link violence to sex

Somehow I settled on this topic to lead me back into the habit of posting.
The other night some of my friends jokingly remarked that I should take a mutual friend to a party, get her drunk, and help her find a guy to "bust it down". I think I threw up in my mouth. Here I was with some of the best and the brightest females from all over the country, and they were encouraging what sounded like rape to me. From the level of intoxication on the females part, to the violent ring the words "bust it down" had to it. I get queasy thinking about it.
Impairing her ability to give consent is an issue for another day. (And trust me I am not dismissing it)
I just wanted to discuss the increasing occurrence of jokes linking sex to violence in my every day life. Phrases like "Bust it", "hit it", "beat it up" never cease to disgust me. Is this what members of our society see sex as today. Conquering pussy.
In our jokes, conversations, songs, continuing to be normalized day by day.
And to hear it in this environment made the words sting even worse...

Pressure to Conform

it's been a while, I have been swamped with work and class. But I have taken a huge step since my last post...
Just this Saturday, I chopped off all of my perm, and with this exposing of my true self I came face to face with the parts of the dominant beauty standard that I was still holding on to.
I am ashamed to admit this, but deep down, throughout my entire transitioning period, I was a bit relieved to see how wavy my newgrowth appeared. I wasn't quite that "nappy". Well boy didn't God deliver me a surprise on Saturday afternoon. The stylist handed me the mirror and I was just as kinky as the next person. And now I am glad to have to face my own brainwashing head on. Otherwise the process was incomplete. Otherwise I was a hypocrite to every other women I encouraged to do the same.
Now I am dealing with it. First few days feeling quite unpretty. Dealing with the idea that my hair weeds out all of the brainwashed men that would have approached me before, making dating even harder. But I set out to do something much bigger than all of that superficial crap. I must say, it was nice to meet me on Saturday.

Police Brutality

Just as I am researching the movement for the abolition of prison (please look it up), I find that in march a man from my hometown was beaten to death by police after a car accident!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A car accident! Interestingly enough, the example I was given for reducing the dependency on police was from a woman who fought her instinct to call the police after a car accident. Rodney Wilson is dead, and I hadn't even heard about it. I researched it and most of the news came from a blog. This system is a mess. It's time to be done with it.
Research people research..... Critical Resistance 10, Rodney Wilson, 3 men beat by cops n Pennsylvania...
Now that our media is failing us, we have to educate ourselves. Thank god for the word of mouth. Rodney Wilson,you have made up my mind, I dedicate what I do for this movement from now on to you!!!!!

Kristin Butler's Suma Cum Loony

http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2008/05/15/Columns/Summa.Cum.Loony-3371900.shtml
I have tried to blast this article on the Chronicle's comment page, but that wasn't enough. And as a poster said, the writer is deteriorating strides made to connect the two schools. Any disdain students at NCCC and residents of Durham held for us before, has just been increased. Though I am sure that the writer and most of her supporters could care less. Here are JUST A FEW of the issues I see bursting in between the lines
1. Can you say hypocrite? As if our students hold perfect behavior everyday outside of class. With the massive consumption of alcohol by under age drinkers, the drug use, the unreported, on-campus rapes, the racism that's bubbling beneath several surfaces... The cheating!!!!!!!! Come on
2. I am still amazed at how many people gloss over the wrongs admitted to: the racial slurs, that hateful email...(Not to mention I am curious why this mostly white party ordered up two black strippers)
3. These issues mentioned are not that simplistic. I wasn't planning on going there but as one poster added in response to the semen, how likely is it that there were only team members at that party? Is it possible that she just confused who was on the team? The evidence found, the main one I remember, the broken nail (what did she break it taking her clothes off)
4. Generalizations. Not trying to separate the two individuals from the rest of the school (because I don't think they are bad people at all and do feel that they have earned their degrees), but if you feel that you must, this is a good example of a small group having to represent an entire institution- including all of the people who work there, attend there, and hold degrees. And now you have added to our generalization. Sad enough I have heard rumors that your editors only publish articles that fit their dominant opinions (I hope that isn't true). This article wouldn't make me so angry if I had at least once seen one from the other side of the fence. The views of Kristin and students who share them are ever present. Where are my views? Here on this blog I guess.

To Be Or Not To Be... A Problem

Lately, I have been expressing my views more and more, and the result ,lol, hasn't been too pleasant. I've been accused of being a racist, the result of someone not liking what I said on the school newspaper blog and googling me to find out about my intent to participate in a reparation demonstration. I have lost a friend, her choice not mine. I have been called a republican, that one kind of got to me lol(yet their senseless explanation- that I don't really want change because I want to change this completely around???? made me feel better). With the reactions I have been getting and the words that pop up when you google my name, sometimes I wonder how it will affect me later. Will I lose the opportunity to work with a great employer. Coupled with my new "political statement" growing out of my head (Glamour Magazine told a room full of lawyers to leave the political hairstyles, aka the afros and dreads, outside of the courtroom. I can admit I was a little shaken, BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND! Yeah for two seconds I allowed my mind to slip back into colonization, then I woke back up. If a work place won't allow me to express myself completely, I DO NOT WANNA BE THERE! It will be their loss. Especially as a layer, I plan to put my heart into my cases, I will not sugar coat or dim down anything. No more suffocation. No more hiding the covers of my books (Yes I did so for bell hooks Black Masculinity) for fear of someone stereotyping me as a crazy radical or crazy feminist. I am radical and I am a feminist, still learning but still one. And if that makes people nervous then I am sorry for them.