Pressure to Conform

it's been a while, I have been swamped with work and class. But I have taken a huge step since my last post...
Just this Saturday, I chopped off all of my perm, and with this exposing of my true self I came face to face with the parts of the dominant beauty standard that I was still holding on to.
I am ashamed to admit this, but deep down, throughout my entire transitioning period, I was a bit relieved to see how wavy my newgrowth appeared. I wasn't quite that "nappy". Well boy didn't God deliver me a surprise on Saturday afternoon. The stylist handed me the mirror and I was just as kinky as the next person. And now I am glad to have to face my own brainwashing head on. Otherwise the process was incomplete. Otherwise I was a hypocrite to every other women I encouraged to do the same.
Now I am dealing with it. First few days feeling quite unpretty. Dealing with the idea that my hair weeds out all of the brainwashed men that would have approached me before, making dating even harder. But I set out to do something much bigger than all of that superficial crap. I must say, it was nice to meet me on Saturday.