My Air

Every time I bite my tongue I feel like
That thing I was trying to birth
that drops hard in my stomach
Something heavier than me
It hits bottom and begins to expand
Bursting throughout my small body
I feel it creeping to my throat
It hits my mouth, where oddly it all started
But its already been surpressed so it grows
Taking air from me
Blocking all hopes of breathing
Now I know how Qua’daisha’s mother felt
As she stumbled hopelessly in search of her daughter
but was overcome by the loss of air
Passed out before she could make it
No matter how hard her heart pulled
Outside forces caused her body to fail
Her Qua’daisha lied there as her singed soul,
Only ten years old was carried away by angels
Or maybe she did wake to search for her mother
Cried in a corner as her mother laid air-less
Far away
My Qua’daisha is in danger but not yet carried away
And what am I doing
I’m suffocating myself